HEART STUTTER – EPISODE 2
I’m not sure if you’ve experienced this but I have. You get this strange feeling with weird tingles that just lets you know that you’re being watched. It is like their presence is right beside you and you’re surrounded by their aura. That was what I felt that day. Like an unspoken agreement between Gabe and I.
We have always sat beside each other in this particular class we have every Thursday. Not that I was complaining. Being close to him like this made me warm and fuzzy all day long and even though I hated the class, I look forward to attending just to see him and sit by him.
I know this is pathetic, but love is quite pathetic too. I don’t know if he really saw me as the person next to him, but I was eager to connect with him in any way I could.
Today, he spoke to me! Directly. He looked into my eyes and spoke to me.
“Do you have a pen you could spare me?”
That was all he said but that was all my heart needed to start beating as wildly as it did.
I nodded and gave him my own without thinking twice. He is all that matters. Who am I to write if Gabe can’t? He muttered a quiet “thanks” to me before facing his friends and that was it. We were back to not existing in each other’s lives.
Again. Not that I actually did exist in his life anyway. I sighed in despair and checked my backpack for another pen as the lecturer walked into class, her eyes narrowed into dangerous slits like a cat waiting to jump and claw the life out of someone… that “someone” being us, the most unfortunate students in the entire University to be stuck with her for this semester.
Why is she here again? Can’t she fall sick for just a day and skip class? I hurriedly rummaged through my bag for a pen as “Mrs cat-like eyes” delved straight into teaching without stopping to check if no one was still clumsily searching for a lost pen in their backpack a.k.a. me.
I finally found it! Just that it wasn’t what I expected… I groaned internally as I looked at the pencil in my hand. Great. This day just gets worse and worse for me.
What do I do with a blunt pencil? Is it too late to ask for my pen back? I glanced at my pen in Gabe’s hand and watched mindlessly as it swiftly moved in a smooth motion across the pages of his book. I guess I’m not jotting shit today. Would he give me his book if I asked to borrow it? He should be willing to do that much for me right
Seeing as I just sacrificed my pen for his sake. That sounds selfish but right now, I don’t think I can bring myself to really care. If there’s one thing I’m scared of, it’s failing this woman’s class and though missing out on one might not seem important, it surely is enough to bring my fears to life.
Class dragged on for two hours which further soured my mood. I didn’t want to be here anymore. I let myself space out as I thought about anything that crossed my mind until the class finally came to an end and I felt the table shift from being moved.
I snapped out of my daydream and carried my bag as I got up from my seat, trying to find my way out of the hall that was practically swimming with extremely loud students. That got on my nerves even more and I felt like I would explode soon from how helpless I was against the tall giants that surrounded me.
I hated my height at that moment. I just want to get out of here. Is that too much to ask for? I was starting to feel restless and anxious as I stood there, clear signs of an imminent panic attack that would no doubt happen if I stayed here a little longer. Why are they so tall?
I moved away from the congested part of the lecture hall and found a seat in the far corner by an open window as I forced myself to stay calm and not pass out. I muttered soothing words and took deep breaths as I rode out the attack all by myself.
Once I felt better and the crowd had dissipated, I picked up my bag and made my way out. That was when I felt it… the tingles. Someone was staring. So, I turned to where I felt the stares were coming from and saw Gabe. He winked at me and all I could do was blink. I turned to look behind me and was surprised to see there was no one there. Does that mean… he was winking at me?! Oh my God!!!
I turned to face him again and was shocked to see a soft smile on his face. Directed to me… WTF? I snapped out of my temporary daze and forced a smile his way. Shrugging to myself as I wondered what suddenly changed, I continued my walk out of the lecture hall. What changed? Was it the pen?
Whatever it was that made him do that had my thanks. He brightened my mood with his smile. Who knew he could look so beautiful when he smiled? I ducked my head and smiled to myself as I glanced his way one more time, only to see him leave his friends as he walked towards… me?
BE RIGHT BACK…
ALSO READ: HEART STUTTER – EPISODE 1